Thursday, February 5, 2009

OCD Much?

My mind has been racing these days and not always to good places.  It feels cluttered with the past.  That makes it hard to move forward.  And then I feel a loss of control.  Then there's my OCD.  Self diagnosed of course.  I think it is how I try to control things which is a mirage anyway right?  

My OCD tendencies make me disorganized and sometimes late.  Of course I didn't turn out to be obsessive over organizing or cleanliness.  I obsess over stuff like locking the door and making sure the oven is off even if I haven't used it a couple of days.  And then there is my health.  A little bump on my skin or a headache send my into a tailspin sometimes. If I miss a day of using my juicer I obsess over that too not realizing that all the obsessing is bad for my  health!  Sometimes I give too much weight to what I eat and not enough to the health of my mind.  

I need to spend more time being creative.  Aside from my writing I have dropped all the other creative activities I used to enjoy like taking pictures, beading, listening to music, reading and then there's exercising.  My daily walks outside have been kyboshed by the freezing temps and I haven't been able to drag myself to a gym or even a mall to walk like I used to.  

I need to take just one step.  A step toward getting my mind back on track and then my body will follow.

Can anyone relate?


kris said...

Oh yes I can relate.
Hate to get all NIKE, but you have to "just do it" and get out the door and go to the gym, or write, or paint, whatever it is you enjoy. Force yourself, you will feel better afterwards. I have had OCD for 20+ years and it waxes & wanes, sometimes I have to force myself out of bed but if I let myself get in a pattern I will get depressed and it just gets worse & worse..likewise excersize is the best medication and transports me to better days. Good luck.

Cathy Bueti said...

Thanks Kris! Glad you stopped by! I know once I get going it will get a little easier each time.