Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Life Goes On

A big question I asked myself after I finished the grueling 6 months of chemo was “How do I get back to the rest of my life now?” The fear of not surviving was still there but it seemed a little bit bigger somehow. I wondered why. I think it was because I had spent 6 months, or rather an entire year “fighting” the cancer beast. Fighting it through surgery, reconstruction, and chemo. Now that the “poison” used to kill my cancer was gone what was I to do? That was the question staring me in the face. I knew my life would never be the same again. I just didnt know how to make sense of it . I didnt know how to live after all that time just trying to get through and survive.

I thought about the way I wanted to treat my body. I knew it would take time to heal from being beaten up for so long. I thought about how bad my diet was, how I never took time for myself to exercise, how my mind was too focused on bad stuff happening. I started to think about the relationship between the two…mind and body. I have worked in the medical field for many years and knew the “right” things to do but putting them into action was another story.

I then began a journey for my health. A journey I continue on to this day. Through this blog I will take you all along with me. I will share what I have learned, how I have struggled, but most important how I have survived in all aspects of my life. I will also post some of my poetry which is yet another way I have found to deal with emotions both good and bad. You may even get to read some stories that didnt make it into the book!

All the changes I have made to my diet, to my life, to help myself stay well are important not only for what it does for my body but what it does for my mind. It is what I have found as my attempt to control the uncontrollable! I figure the worst that can happen….is that I will continue to be healthy and be around for a long time!

So I hope that you will come along with me for the ride! Surviving is all about living! Living after cancer…..living after whatever has tried to take you down. It is what we learn about ourselves in the process that makes us who we are. It is what gives us the strength to go on.