Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Looking Ahead

I am spending a quiet new years eve home in front of the fire with my husband and our little pug Bosco.  And there is no place I would rather be.   

But as I reflect on this past year I can't help but feel sad.  I think I have always felt a bit of sadness every new years eve.  Mostly thinking of those in my family who are gone.  I always tell myself I won't cry when the ball drops but to my husband's dismay I do without fail.  

2008 will always be the year I lost my dad.   Even as I write this I am holding back tears.  And I still can't believe he is gone.  Tonite I have been thinking of him a lot.  Thinking of him, of Paul, and my grandma.  Wondering if they are having their own party together from their heaven.  I like to think they are.  

Looking forward to 2009 I want to worry less and laugh more.  I want to dance, be silly, capture moments with my camera, and to smile.  I want to feel free.  I want to enjoy more of the simple stuff.  I want to stop looking back.  I want to love more.

As this year comes to a close I feel grateful for all that I have in spite of the losses.  

I wish all of you peace, love, good health, and happiness for this new year!!  

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