But as I reflect on this past year I can't help but feel sad. I think I have always felt a bit of sadness every new years eve. Mostly thinking of those in my family who are gone. I always tell myself I won't cry when the ball drops but to my husband's dismay I do without fail.
2008 will always be the year I lost my dad. Even as I write this I am holding back tears. And I still can't believe he is gone. Tonite I have been thinking of him a lot. Thinking of him, of Paul, and my grandma. Wondering if they are having their own party together from their heaven. I like to think they are.
Looking forward to 2009 I want to worry less and laugh more. I want to dance, be silly, capture moments with my camera, and to smile. I want to feel free. I want to enjoy more of the simple stuff. I want to stop looking back. I want to love more.
As this year comes to a close I feel grateful for all that I have in spite of the losses.
I wish all of you peace, love, good health, and happiness for this new year!!
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