As I grew older those visits from the dead slowed down and eventually stopped. If a dead person visited me it would be in my dreams. Possibly that was the only way I could handle it. The only way it wouldn't freak me out. And then I started seeking out mediums who could talk to the dead for me. When my husband died I really got into it. I so wanted to still feel connected to him from wherever he was in the afterlife. I have always believed that our souls live on after we die. I believe that we are all energy and it is our energy that moves on to the next phase of existence.
In May of 2000 I went on a trip to Barbados. It was a psychic retreat headed by none other than John Edward. It was before he blew up and his career took off like a rocket. I feel very lucky to have had that experience. I met many great people looking to connect with loved ones as well as a group of wonderful mediums including Suzane Northrop. There were group readings with Suzane and I had a private reading with John. It was amazing. I know there are many skeptics out there but the things I was told were so specific there is only one place the messages could have come from. . . my dead people.
Since then I have made an annual trip to a medium to hear from my lost loved ones. It is a gift I give to myself. Although they say that each one of us has the ability to communicate with the dead I have too much swimming around in my busy mind to ever be able to hear them. I do get messages in dreams and songs I hear on the radio at certain moments. I know I am always connected to them and it makes dealing with the loss a little easier.
So this Sunday on what would have been my dad's 62nd birthday I will be thinking of him and missing him. I will light a candle that I hope he will see. In a whisper I will tell him I love him. Somehow I know he will hear me. . .