Wednesday, October 31, 2007


This is one of my fav pics of Lou and I. It is our wedding picture. We were married on May 31, 2003 which was the 2nd anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. It certainly wasnt planned that way but when I realized the irony I took it on as something I could put a positive spin on and to replace a bad memory with a new happy one.

Anniversaries can be happy and also sad. I have had way too many sad ones in my young life although I try hard each day to focus on the happier ones. I can’t help but wonder why it is that sometimes the sad ones get more attention in our minds. I know that to be true for me.

Today is an anniversary for me. One with a mixture of happy and sad. It is the date of my wedding anniversary to Paul, my first husband who was killed. Today would have been 15 years of marriage. Why do those rounded off numbers always seem like such milestones? We weren’t even married for 2 years. He was killed about a month before our anniversary. There is that word again “anniversary”! Anyway I always think of him on those days as well as many others. I have since stopped wondering about what life would have been like if he had lived. I just tried to focus on what I wanted my life to be.

Just as I was feeling a little down about today I was pleasantly surprised this morning when I found out that an article about breast cancer survivor stories that I was interviewed for was posted. It was written by Kate Taylor for CNN. It is a really wonderful article and I am so glad to have had the opportunity to share my story of survival. As I read the article and saw the picture of Lou and I teared up and yet smiled at the same time. I smiled thinking that somehow today was meant to be the special day that the article was posted. I smiled thinking about Paul and that he must be smiling too from the other side. I truly believe that he has been watching over me all these years during all of the difficult things I have gone through and cheered for me when I have overcome them. I believe that he heard all my little prayers to help give me the strength to go on. I do believe that he had a hand in guiding me down the right path.

I am so grateful that path lead me to Lou…….

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