Good News And A Pain In The Boob . . .

So as an update to my last post on scanxiety, my mammo thankfully came back normal once again! Always such a relief. I don't have to go back to see the surgeon till next year and I am off the hook with breast MRI which I am happy about as well. So it was all good news.

Now on to the pain in my boob. Unfortunately I had a bad mammo tech for the first time in 9 years. I am certainly no stranger to mammo's. I have lost count as to how many I have had done over the past decade. What I am sure of is that I have never had pain during one. It is uncomfortable, yes, but painful, no, not for me. Until the other day . . .

I saw my doc first and then hung out for what seems like an eternity in the always fashionable hospital gown. When I was called in by the mammo tech and she proceeded to set me up in the machine I had no idea the pain that was about to ensue. When she clamped that sucker down apparently as compressed as it would go I felt nothing but extreme pain. Then I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was scared and felt as if I would pass out. I literally could not imagine what the hell she was doing that was causing me so much pain. It took my breath away. Not only was the compression excessive but the length of time for the compression seemed much longer. I felt as if all the color drained from my face. She had to sit me down. I assured her that I had never had pain like that before. She spoke to me as if I was a newbie and assured me that I was not the only one to ever have this kind of reaction. Well, let me say that if she has alot of patients ready to pass out then she is doing something wrong!

When it was finally over she assured me that I would now be able to relax out in the waiting room. I sternly let her know that I could not relax until I got the results. As I walked out of the room I turned as I heard her say "I got a really good picture though. . ." Hmmmm...."Goody for you" I thought to myself.

I have to say it was traumatizing. I never feared a mammo because it was not painful . . . that is until now. I hope that next time I have someone who knows what they are doing. The next day I got in touch with my doctor to let her know of my bad experience with the mammo technician. I can only hope it is followed up on as I would hate to see my experience happen to someone else.

Have you ever had a bad experience as a patient and been vocal about it? What happened? How did you feel speaking up about it?

Scanxiety . . . How Do You Deal??

So one would think that after 9 years I would be used to followup visits and tests. I stupidly thought I would get to a point where I would be scanxiety free. In the beginning I went for visits every 3 months, then after 3 years I went every 6 months and then when at the 5 year mark I graduated to once a year. And that included an oncologist visit, breast surgeon visit and annual mammogram along with an annual breast MRI.

Three years ago I went through a scare involving a barbaric biopsy in the MRI machine which thankfully turned out to be benign. But my anxiety reached new heights. Then 2 years ago my father died of cancer and I feared for my own life even more. Its almost like the more time I have where I don't have to go for that stuff makes it harder to go back.

I am sitting here wishing I didn't have to go for my mammo in a few days. Tuesday I will be going in for my checkup with the breast surgeon and then the mammo. I rescheduled this appointment back in March and had to wait all this time which is lunacy to me and yet I felt as if I committed a crime. Now I don't want to go at all. Yes I know I am sounding like a whiny kid. I don't want to think of my life in time to live between tests and appointments.

I need to create. I need to paint and sketch to help me with this fear. It always seems to help. So the next few days I will carve out time to do just that. Hoping it will quell some of my scanxiety. . .

What do you do to deal with scanxiety?

Rescheduling My Annual Mammo . . . Why Does It Feel Like I Committed Crime?

As 2009 drew to a close my boob started to hurt. It happens like clockwork each year as my annual mammo draws near. It was scheduled for March 2. That and a followup visit with my breast surgeon.

In an effort to put myself first and explore new creative interests I came upon a flyer for a painting class at my local arts council. I have always wanted to learn to paint. I am a creative person. Being creative helps ground me and deal with fear. At times fear seems to be my daily companion. The painting class certainly peaked my interest. And then I saw the date of the first class. It was of course the date of my annual mammo. Now when I make these followup appointments it is 6 months ahead of time as I leave another appointment. Who knows where you will be in 6 months. I was pretty bummed. Then I had a thought. . . Why don't I just reschedule? Seemed simple enough at the time. Until I called and found out that I would have to wait 6 months to get one. I have to say that I was shocked the wait was that long.

What did I do? Well, since it had been over 8 years of remission for me without missing one single followup test or appointment I decided to give myself a break so that I could take the art class. I figured that 6 months would not make or break me and the art would help heal me.

I have to say though that I felt as though I committed a crime. That I somehow broke the unspoken rules. I hate feeling this way. I can't live my life in between medical appointments as if that is the only way I will feel ok. It is a hard habit to break. It is the fear that hangs over my head all the time. . .

Have you ever rescheduled a followup test? Ever felt guilty or scared about it? How do you handle your post cancer checkups?

Breast Cancer Screening Guidelines . . . What Do You Think??

As a young breast cancer survivor I am sure I will be in the minority when I say this but I am not alarmed by the new mammography guidelines released by the USPSTF. The recommended change is to increase the age from 40 to 50 for mammograms in otherwise healthy women. This debate has become so heated that even a well respected clinician like
Dr. Susan Love is getting alot of flack for her support of the recommendations. She addresses these issues on her blog. A great organization called Breast Cancer Action (BCA) includes their take on this issue via a statement on their website. They are one of the few in support of it as well.

I am an 8 year breast cancer survivor diagnosed at 31 years old. I was not at the age to get mammograms and did not have a significant family history of the disease. It was not something I thought about at all. That is until I found a lump in my breast. I went to the doctor who recommended a mammogram. No tumor was evident however the results came back revealing subtle architechtural distortion of the breast tissue therefore a biopsy was recommended. The diagnosis was Stage II breast cancer. I had a mastectomy, reconstruction and chemo. These days I go annually for mammograms as part of my post cancer followup. Mammography has been known to not be a good screening tool for young women because of the dense breast tissue. I have actually been told by a radiologist that my mammo's are almost impossible to read for that reason which leads me to question why I am having them done. Breast MRI is known to have a high false positive rate which is why it is not recommended for use in otherwise healthy women. I have had breast MRI resulting in a false positive which lead to an unnecessary biopsy. There is also the concern about radiation exposure from tests such as these causing cancer as the young age group is more suseptible to this than the older population. I have to admit this concerns me as well.

This change in recommendations does not address the lack of an effective screening tool for young women. Young women are in the same boat they were before as are most young adults. I think right now the most important thing women in our age group can do is be familiar with your breasts, know your risk factors, and if you find something abnormal get to the doctor and have it checked out. Kairol Rosenthal is the author of "Everything Changes: The Insider's Guide to Cancer in Your 20's and 30's". She is also in support of these guidelines and today has written a blog post more specific to the Breast Self Exam (BSE) aspect of those recommendations. I have shared my opinion with Kairol on that topic. Check it out here.

I think there needs to be less anger driven debates and more direction towards how we can reduce mortality rates in young women starting with finding a more effective screening tool for this population. I think that using an ineffective tool for lack of something better gives a false sense of security to the many women fearful of getting this disease.

How do you feel about the new guidelines? Do you think the debate has become too heated? Do you think people's reactions are fear driven? Where do you think the focus should be? As a young women what issue is most important to you regarding breast cancer screening?