Dating With Cancer

Today is the official re-release of Breastless!! In the book I share my experience as a young widow navigating the single scene during my cancer treatment. Dating and intimacy are very unique issues for young adult cancer survivors. I had the opportunity to guest blog for Erin Zammett Ruddy's Life With Cancer on Glamour.com. Erin is a young cancer survivor and author.

My guest post all about dating with cancer is posted today just as Breastless hits the shelves! Check it out here!!

Breastless Book Event in NYC

The new edition of Breastless in the City is due to be released on May 5th.  I can't believe how fast it is approaching!  The other day I received my first copy from the publisher and I can't wait for all of you to read it!

My first book event will be in NYC at the Barnes and Noble in Greenwich Village.  Here are the details:

Event Date:  Thursday, May 28th at 7:30pm.

Place:  Barnes and Noble

             396 Avenue of the Americas (@8th St.)

I will be doing a book talk/signing.  So mark your calendars!  Please pass along this info to all your peeps and I hope to see you there!

Big Book News!!

I am excited to finally be able to spill the beans!  Here is the cover for the new updated and revised edition of my book which is being republished by Kaplan Publishing this spring!  May 5, 2009 to be exact.  

It was a lot of work to do all the rewrites and additions to the beginning of my story as well as the end and everywhere in between.  But I think it will give an even closer look at where I started from and where I am today.  

So for those who have read the first edition I hope that you take another look and for newcomers I hope you will check it out!  I am very grateful for this new opportunity for Breastless to reach a wider audience.  Most of all my wish is for it to continue to inspire and give courage to those who don't think they can make it through the crappy stuff  that is thrown at us!  It is a story about survival, love, and embracing life!

Reflections

As I stepped out of the shower I grabbed my towel.  I stood and faced the mirror.  With the towel wrapped around me I picked up my hairbrush and slowly ran it through my soaked hair.  I let the towel drop off of my shoulders and pinned it under my arms to hold it up.  No one would know I thought to myself as I quickly glanced at their shape under the towel, one bigger than the other.  Just as I lifted my right arm up to run my fingers through my hair that side of the towel slid down.  Through my blurred vision I was struck, stopped for a second that felt like an hour.  I began to stare at its perfect shape,  its perkiness, and the healthy pink shade of the nipple.  I thought about how I missed having two that looked the same, two that were healthy, two that I could feel.  I  wondered how it became the one I would always worry about.  

It has been over 7 years and this moment surprised me.  It was like for that short moment I could pretend I was whole.  I could remember what they looked like.  I never took a photo of them before surgery.  I thought about it.  Now I wish I had.  So I could always be reminded of  my reflection.  The reflection of how I used to be.   

Bra Zero

I remember when bra shopping was fun. I remember when it made me feel sexy. I remember when it became a chore.

That happened when I lost my boob. And although they built me a brand spankin new one I was now lopsided. Yeah, I know they say that all women have one boob smaller/larger than the other but still. Like it wasn’t already hard enough to be a girl.

It seemed as though once I lost my boob Victoria’s Secret catalogs showed up everywhere I turned. That those dam bra commercials were on some crazy rotation on every channel I surfed through. Don’t even get me started on shopping in that store or any for that matter. I swear I must have tried on every bra known to man. Every brand, every size, every type. One thing I have realized… I live in an underwire world. All I wanted was a bra without wire. I had no clue it would be near impossible. And if I did in fact hit the bra lotto happening to stumble upon one you could be sure it wasn’t a pretty, girly, one.

Now, back in the day I was a big fan of underwire. It was all I wore. I found it pretty comfortable until I tried to shove a newly reconstructed boob into one. My plastic surgeon practically dared me to try it. I laughed wondering “how hard could it be?” I had done it before right? Well, I was in a for a rude awakening. Initially I had settled into the sporty type, which I must admit were sooo comfortable but quite unflattering. I found I had traded the lopsidedness for flatchested and bound. So I lived in those for quite a while as I became increasingly pissed off at my inability to find myself a nice girly bra. Each time I looked in the mirror at my scars, and a newly built headlight that was forever “on” I wondered why it had to be so dam hard to find something to at least make me look nice from the outside….something to hide all that and still make me feel pretty. Sexy even.

As I stroll through VS now I look around at all these tweens doing their own bra shopping wondering how could it be possible that at such a young age it warrants sexy lacy underwire bra’s? You know…the ones I can no longer wear in my 30’s. I remember being that age having my mom pretty much pick those out for me, not that there was much of a selection back then where we shopped. Jealous much?! Not only was I feeling unattractive and ugly, I was feeling dam old!

Not to worry….all this ranting will end on a good note. Where I was heading with all this is that I FINALLY found a one! And it fit all my requirements with a bonus. No wire, with padding (to cover the headlight that never shuts off) and drumroll please……LACE!! I wanted to cry I was so happy. Thank You Calvin Klein!

But you know what happens next right? It is sure to be discontinued! LOL