Friday, April 24, 2009

His First Relationship

I read somewhere that if a man treats his mother well than it is a good chance that he will treat all the women in his life that way.  It is a barometer to his relationships with women.  It got me to thinking about the men I had been with over the years.  This rings true in so many ways.  I thought about my dad who was abandoned by his mother when he was just a year old.  I thought about how he treated my mom and me.  He had a bad relationship with both of us.  Maybe because the first woman in his life left him.  

Then I thought about my first husband Paul.  He loved his mother and would have done anything for her.  She was a huge part of his life.  He treated her with respect and loved her unconditionally.  Paul and I had a wonderful relationship full of love and respect.  He treated me so well I wondered what was wrong with him!  

The string of guys I dated after Paul died who treated me badly all had bad relationships with their moms.  I didn't think about this at the time but only in hindsight.  If I had know would it have made a difference?  Probably not.  I still would have had to learn from the experience of being with them.  My relationship with my dad affected me greatly and made it hard for me to realize my worth when it came to relationships.

My husband Lou had just lost his mom to cancer a month before we met.  Although I never got to meet her I could tell from him that she was an important woman in his life.  She let him know that the sun rose and set with him. She made him feel like he could do anything and be good at it.  He was very respectful of her and loved her dearly.  Lou is the only other man I ever met that has treated me well.  I wonder if it is because of his good relationship with his mom.

Have you heard this theory?  Does it make you think about the men in your life?  Does it ring true?

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