It has been over 7 years and this moment surprised me. It was like for that short moment I could pretend I was whole. I could remember what they looked like. I never took a photo of them before surgery. I thought about it. Now I wish I had. So I could always be reminded of my reflection. The reflection of how I used to be.
Monday, November 24, 2008
As I stepped out of the shower I grabbed my towel. I stood and faced the mirror. With the towel wrapped around me I picked up my hairbrush and slowly ran it through my soaked hair. I let the towel drop off of my shoulders and pinned it under my arms to hold it up. No one would know I thought to myself as I quickly glanced at their shape under the towel, one bigger than the other. Just as I lifted my right arm up to run my fingers through my hair that side of the towel slid down. Through my blurred vision I was struck, stopped for a second that felt like an hour. I began to stare at its perfect shape, its perkiness, and the healthy pink shade of the nipple. I thought about how I missed having two that looked the same, two that were healthy, two that I could feel. I wondered how it became the one I would always worry about.