Friday, August 31, 2007

My Furry Anxiety Pill

His name is Bosco and he has saved me on more than one occasion. Saved my mind that is. Last night I had another one of my panic attacks. I am sure just about everyone is familiar with that term and if you are not consider yourself lucky! When it first happened I didn’t even know what it was. I didn’t know why my heart was racing, palpitating, why my hands and feet felt numb, and I felt as though I was not present in the room any longer. Over the years that have passed since my first time (no not the good kind…) I have learned to notice the symptoms more readily which has enabled me to engage my grounding strategies so to speak.

One of those is my pug, Bosco. My furry little friend is almost like taking a xanax, or paxil without the nasty side effects! During a really bad panic attack one day a couple of years ago I didn’t know what to do with myself, I began my usual pacing and pulling at my hair, and mumbling to myself with my heart pounding in my chest. I happened to glance over at him and with his cute little sad expression (which he has most of the time btw!) I noticed he was watching me. I think pets always sense when we aren’t right. They can be very in tune to our energy good or bad. This time it was my bad. I don’t know what made me do it but somehow I was able to go over and scoop him up into my arms. Instantly as I felt his warmth, smelled the puppy smell, and felt his fur against my face I began to calm down. It was as though he was sucking all the crazy energy flowing through my body at that moment. I began to pace with him as he looked as though he were on a ride a the park, looking all around, up and down, but when he would look my way, I melted.

When I was sick with cancer Bosco would have made the perfect companion. He is my first pet ever and I don’t know what I did without him. I wish he had been with me when I was all alone after Paul was killed, and then when I was diagnosed with cancer, spending a year of my life as a sick person. But somehow I made it through on my own. I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit sometimes for what we are able to survive.

I have to say though, I am so grateful he is a part of my life now…..I only wish it could be forever….

How have your pets helped you out of a jam???

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