Are You A Germaphobe??

I have worked in a hospital setting for 18 years.  As an OT I have had to take all types of patients in the shower and to the toilet to assist them with their daily cares from those on ventilators, to post surgical patients with wounds, and those recovering from strokes.  So I have had my moments of having to dodge phlegm spouting at me, coughs, MRSA, and all other types of germy stuff.  Years ago I never gave it a second thought.  It was just what I did for a living.  I certainly took the necessary precautions like plastic gowns, masks, and of course gloves hoping that would be enough protection.  I wore nice clothing back then, dressy even.  I have had to go through many a lecture on the job about handwashing techniques.  I never obsessed over it.  That is until now.

I think it started when I was going through my cancer treatment.  I had to work full time in a hospital while I was getting poison that killed my immune system.  Needless to say I was a little concerned.  My oncologist said it was ok as long as I didn't have to work with the very sick patients who had the most bugs.  I was lucky to have had a supervisor that made sure of just that.  That was 8 years ago.

Then I started watching Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsay and my fear of germs took a bad turn.  I was riveted watching each episode and getting way grossed out each time.  I started thinking too much about what goes on in the restaurants I frequent.  I started to not want to go out to eat, and if I did I was super particular about where and even then would practically all but inspect everything on my plate as well as the plate itself and of course the silverware.  Unfortunately we eat home alot more but that has saved us some dough so I guess it is not all bad.  

Now when I go to my OT job I obsessively use purell.   I wear scrubs which go right into the laundry the second I get home.  And then the rest of me goes in the shower.  Things I never did years ago when I first started my OT work.  I don't know which is worse...the me then or the me now.  I have a little purell bottle that goes everywhere with me.  I run through that stuff like mad.  After I use the carts at the grocery store, after I ride the train or subway in the city, and don't even ask how I handle the public bathroom situation.   My husband just laughs at how obsessive I am with it.  I think I have gone way overboard or have I?

Anyone else willing to admit to being a germaphobe?  How do you handle yourself in potentially germy situations?  Do you leave the house with your trusty bottle of purell like moi?  Do you ever wonder what goes on back in the kitchen of your favorite restaurants?  Did you worry more during your treatments because of a shitty immune system?  

What's That Smell??

Throughout my life I have always had a heightened sense of smell.  And that sense in particular has always been very connected to my memory.  Some of my favorite smells are my Amarige perfume, lavendar, buttercream scented candles, fresh linens, my grandma's gravy (what we italians called sauce, oh how I miss it), my  husbands cologne, and the smell of the ocean.  Some of the smells I hate are bandaids, cigarette smoke, fresh cut grass, the inside of a hospital as well as the more obvious ones!

Whenever I enter a room, or my car, or even outside its often the first question I ask.  And depending on what it is I will be flooded with memories. When I go to Sloan for my checkups the second I enter the office building the smell nearly knocks me down...the familiarity of it.  Its a stark reminder of what I have been through.  It brings all fear back to me.   By the same token though the smell of my husbands cologne lingering in the house after he leaves makes me smile and feel a comfort.  When I was growing up my grandma made gravy every Sunday.  I miss that smell.  It always made me feel good in a house that was riddled by fighting and yelling.  On some Sundays when I make that same gravy I smile and think of her.  

During my treatment I would bring something with me that smelled good to me, like a piece of cloth doused with my favorite perfume or lavendar oil.  It helped me to deal with the smell of sickness all around me in the hospital.  Sometimes it worked and other times it didn't but I felt it was worth a try.  

Do you find that certain smells trigger your memory?  If so what are they?  How do you deal with those smells that trigger unpleasant memories?