Wednesday, August 5, 2009

My Boobs Hurt Just Thinkin 'Bout It!

The pain usually starts about a month ahead of the scheduled checkup with my breast surgeon.  After all these years one might think it would be easy.  Sometimes I think it should be.  I wish that it could be.  But its sooo not. I see her twice a year which pretty much entails a boob exam and discussion of how I am doing all in the span of 7 - 10 minutes.  This time I don't even have any testing to do.  My mammo is not until the winter.  This should be a cakewalk appointment for me.  Maybe that is too much to expect from myself.  Maybe its too much pressure.  

The anticipation has always been my problem.  The obsessing I do and the negative places my mind likes to frequent especially at these times are not good for me.  I try to work hard at staying positive but old habits die hard I guess.  All those associated reactions just overwhelm me sometimes and take over.  I am hoping that as in my last post about recent city trips the good thoughts will carryover when I head to Sloan Kettering on Tuesday.  

Do you ever obsess over your doc appointments way ahead of time?  How do you handle the fear and anxiety?  Have you ever skipped one out of sheer fear? (Something I have highly considered on many an occasion!)

1 comment:

Caroline said...

I get scanxiety before every test. Its awful. Cancer never goes away. I have back issues right now but go to see my rads onc next week - I think we will discuss tests. Not looking forward to it at all. But I do agree that the anticipation is the worst.