Monday, August 11, 2008

More Dreams...

I keep having dreams about my dad which surprisingly makes me feel a little closer to him.  As I had said in my last dream post, I believe that this is one of the ways the dead can "visit" or communicate with us.  I am amazed at the messages I am getting from him.

About a week ago there he was again.  I also tried to write this one down to recall the detail although when I first woke up I had already forgotten some of it.  But luckily not the message within.  All I recall is him telling me that he stayed longer than he was supposed to , longer than his program was for.  Now I don't know how many of you believe this but I have always felt that when we come into this life we sign up beforehand for a program, meaning things we will go through both good and bad in order for our souls to learn while we are here.  I also believe in past lives, that I have been through here before.  So when he told me that, I asked him why and his response was "So you wouldn't have to be alone when you were sick."

I need to back track somewhat for you here for this to make sense.  About 6 months prior to my cancer diagnosis my dad had a brush with death.  He was rushed to the ER with a burst appendix.  They did surgery and the docs were all shocked that he pulled through.  They said they didn't have an explanation for it since he was in such bad shape.  But he did good and got better quickly.  When I was sick he was the only one in my family who was there everyday in the hospital, took me to all my chemo treatments, even offered to stay with me (to which I said "hell no")  which was so different than he was in our relationship.  He and I were always estranged but when the chips were down he somehow was there for me.  Even when I didn't want him to be.  

So this dream has left me wondering if he survived then so that he could be there for me when I had cancer.  Maybe this was him letting me know that to be true.  I would like to think that it was.  And it makes me all the more grateful to have had him there with me through it all.  

I only wish I had been able to return the favor when he was sick...

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